If you asked me years ago if I would homeschool my children, I probably wouldn’t have entertained the conversation.
Badge of Honor
I once followed the cultural narrative that working more than being home was how I would earn some sort of motherhood badge of honor. You know, that one badge that only other burnt out moms seem to acknowledge. I remember hearing how the kids with mothers who worked, somehow turned out better than the kids with moms who stayed home to raise them.
I mean, I suppose everyone is right in their own mind. Let’s face it, we aren’t all designed for the pace that the generation before us defined as motherhood. Where over booked calendars and activities were scheduled every single day. I was once trapped under that society pressure. To follow the “normal” protocols of raising children, as if it was a one size fits all. For me, I am not a general follower. I never was. I question everyone and everything. I no longer live for invisible badges from anyone.
Making a Change
When the world stopped in 2020, I knew I wasn’t going back to that lifestyle. The commute, the babysitters, the rat race. It was our silver lining in a crazy time. It forced us to make huge changes. It helped us see the truths we were facing.
I am here to raise my children alongside my husband. I am here to teach my children, to guide them and prepare them for life. I am here actively making a choice to show up, every single day for my tiny humans.
Were there some financial setbacks? Absolutely.
Was there a shift to our lifestyle, more than you know.
Will I look back and regret not living for my family? Certainly not.
It weighed heavy on my heart to live simply. To serve, be fully present and lead my family into calm and peaceful territories, especially while the world was pure chaos.
Homeschooling
When I first started homeschooling I was overwhelmed, I’m not going to lie. I had no idea there was Charlotte Mason vs. Classical vs. Unschooling. The list went on and on. If we thought about school in terms of encountering certain ideas and mastering certain skills rather than finishing a book, we would free ourselves to learn far more than we can by binding ourselves to a published resource.
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So here it is. Here is what I have learned from those who have paved the way for us new homeschooling families.
You can exit your school at any point of the year.
It is imperative you look up your own state’s homeschooling requirements.
As for California, you can either file an affidavit on your own, register under a charter homeschool program (that’s what I did), enroll in a private school that offers a satellite program, or find a public school with an independent study program. You can even hire a private tutor or hold a California teaching credential yourself.
Deschool
Deschool yourself and deschool your children. Deschooling is essentially taking some time without any formal learning to allow a child to transition away from the traditional school mindset. You will see natural interests emerge.
Importance of Your People
Find your people! A forced association is not socialization. Before I pulled my oldest out of school I joined every available Facebook homeschooling page/group in my area. I reached out to homeschooling mamas and asked their advice. I was lucky enough to have a friend who I look up to as a mother and mentor. She invited us over to show me everything she did for all four of her kids throughout the years. I searched for the right neighborhood co-op because I love community. Thought that I found some co-ops that I would never want to be a part of. That, my friends, is also an important step in homeschooling. To know what NOT to do and who NOT to be like.
Don’t Compare
Don’t compare your chapter 1 to someone else who is on their chapter 10. Teach from a place of rest. Sarah Mackenzie said, “rest begins with acceptance. Or, perhaps more accurately, with surrender.”
You don’t need a “classroom” in your house. School can be done anywhere.
Hours and Learning
A homeschool day is only a few hours long. You have to remember, in traditional schools there are a lot of interruptions. There are recess breaks, snacks, lunch, bathroom breaks. Your standard 6-hour school day isn’t 6 hours of straight curriculum learning.
Learning is in everyday life. If you include your child in cooking for example, you are teaching them reading, measuring and math. You are teaching how to follow directions, collaboration, listening, patience and problem solving. There is a teachable moment everywhere we are. If you are teaching about the ocean, head to the ocean. If you are teaching the forest, head to the forest.
Know Your WHY and Be Patient
Find your reason “Why” and always refer back to it. Not all days are wonderful but it is important to remember why you are doing it.
You don’t have to do it all yourself. This year we discovered Moxie Learning on Outschool.com and it was so wonderful. Private tutoring and small virtual classes, we loved it. You can outsource any subject. Check out Teachers Pay Teachers. Holy grail to any unit study you could possibly think of, and you are supporting an actual human who created something so special.
Patience. The day you plant the seed is not the day you eat the fruit.
Finances
Financials … I was not sure how we could afford taking away an income while adding the costs of curriculums and extra curriculars. If you enroll with some charters your child will receive state funding. Every public school receives state funding, whether that actually goes to your child or not is a topic for another day. For my son, he receives a generous yearly budget. That money goes towards the curriculums of our choice, the private music lessons he takes, private tutors and classes we want, sports, and any extracurricular classes that are accepted by our charter school. We submit our work samples through our charter, we follow all state requirements and standardized testing.
Grace
Last but never least, give yourself grace. There are NO badges of honor. The only opinion that matters is yours and your family’s. Life is so short and so precious. If your heart is heavy because you want your kids home with you, just make that shift. Life will work itself out. You can always enroll again. I have yet to meet the homeschool grandma who regretted homeschooling her children. I have yet to meet that “socially awkward” child who was homeschooled that the generation before warned me about. Start living the life you dreamed of. It is so incredibly special, and you will never get this time back with your babies.
You Get to Choose
Tomorrow morning wake up earlier than usual. Make yourself a cup of tea or coffee. Take a shower. Wash your hair and style it.Put on some makeup. Put on your favorite pants. Listen to your favorite song. Begin your day choosing joy. You are the mom. You have the ability to set the tone for everyone in your family.
Love, Farmer Jen.
Nicely done Jen