When was the last time you had a real conversation with a girlfriend? Not a text exchange. Not an email. Not a social media comment. But a heart to heart?

So Many Tasks

As busy moms, we can get swept up in a task-oriented lifestyle.

Breakfast, check.

Groceries, check.

Laundry, check.

Respond to xyz, check.

Sports practice, check.

Homework, check.

Clean up, check.

This day-to-day, get ‘er done, mentality leaves little room for self-expression, personal care, or genuine adult interaction.

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So, when I crave girl-time, I try to set up “walk-n-talks,” preferably without kids. This allows me to connect with fellow moms in a meaningful way. And considering the high-stress pandemic, it is a low-risk (outdoor) activity.


Walking with a buddy enables cardio and deepens friendships. That’s double the endorphins, which results in feel-better brain chemicals – happy hormones. Being with others in nature helps get me out of my head. As I listen to someone’s story, it gives me insight into how other people process and approach life’s ups and downs.

When I was a new mama, my Californian comrades and I pushed strollers or carried breastfed babies. We’d even work on our mom bods by pausing to do squats! Now that my children are 9 and 12, I ambulate independently. Except for the leashed dog.

While walking, we women tend to share stories about parenting, marriage, cooking, work, education, exercise, events, creativity, vulnerability, national news, worldly concerns, travels, limitations, frustrations, and aspirations. And sometimes, we broach difficult conversations about our own health and the well-being of our aging parents. Discussing tough topics lifts weight.

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As we hike uphill (I turn 40 this month), girlfriends can help level out life’s stressors. Thus, the journey becomes brighter. Once upon a time, my teenage friends and I would walk multiple miles “to town” in rural northern Michigan after the snow melted. Our interests were different then, but the need for female companionship hasn’t changed.

Where to Walk-N-Talk

Since I moved to sunny southern California, places I like to walk in and around the Ojai Valley include: the bike path that runs between Mira Monte and Casitas Springs, Shelf Road, Pratt Trail, Lake Casitas, the Land Conservancy’s Ventura River Preserve, Rincon Parkway, and the boardwalk along the beach (near the pier).

For backpacking adventures, some women wander into the Sespe Wilderness, and if your young lady is an outdoor enthusiast, check out The Girls Empowerment Workshop.

When getting together isn’t easy due to distance or logistics, I recommend calling (or Face-timing/Zoom-ing) your gal pals. Heartfully reconnecting might mean more than you were expecting.

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Tamara Miller Davis
Tamara Miller Davis is an author, mother of two kidz with Z names, pet owner, fire captain's wife, substitute teacher, parent club volunteer, dance enthusiast, and U.S. Coast Guard veteran from Michigan. Tamara published her debut book "Despite the Buzz" in 2021. The colorful novel is a cautionary tale about tech's influence. She is a member of other local writing groups: the Writers and Publishers Network and Ojai Poetry Series. Tamara enjoys reading, rollerblading, downhill skiing, boogie boarding, biking, tubing, kayaking, walking her dog, listening to podcasts, traveling, going to concerts, supporting causes, and finding common ground with a variety of people. She also likes making lists. Tamara appreciates this quote from Stephen King's memoir "On Writing": "You must not come lightly to the blank page."


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