What Now?

I remember those first day pictures of Kindergarten and every year after that. I remember the exciting holiday parties at school, bringing special treats to school on your kid’s birthday, and signing up to be Room Mom in the classroom. Even spending time with other like minded Moms and comparing notes about what to expect as the years progress, commiserating over the tantrum years as a toddler and the teenage years. The days seemed so long at times, but the years progressed so quickly.

Too Fast

First it was Elementary School, then my sweet daughters quickly progressed to Middle School- those were interesting years and could be a whole blog itself – and before I knew it, it was High School.

I had four years left, I still had time. I was going to enjoy every moment. Savor the time. Before I knew it, it was Senior year.

The year of the “lasts”.

The last first day of high school, the last homecoming, the last Senior Prom, the last banquets, last football games, etc. It was a blur! Before I knew it, graduation had come and gone and college was looming on the horizon.

Not Prepared

Now my oldest had “gone away” to college locally, so while it was a new adventure and experience. For me as a Mom, it was almost the same. I still saw her daily and was able to continue to connect with her on a regular basis.

With my youngest, we were looking at a College two states away. Not a quick car ride to visit, not a come home on the weekend experience, a 2 day car ride, or 5 hour plane ride away college.

How did this happen?

I was not prepared for this! What do you mean I won’t be able to connect with my girl who has been just down the hallway from us her whole life. Was she ready to live two states away from me? Was I ready to live two states away from her?

RELATED TOPIC: Connecting While Letting Go of Your College Kid

What does that mean for me?

I have been a Mom for over 22 years and now the last of my baby birds was ready to launch from the nest. What would this mean for me as my role as Mom? I was lost as I longed to figure out what this would mean for me?

A Change In My Role

So What Now?

If you are like me, I can spiral quickly! And let me tell you dear Moms….I did!
You see after several visits with a therapist to calm my over anxious heart, as I prepared to leave my girl two states away. I was able to take a couple of deep breaths and realize that my role hasn’t ended. It has just changed.

In fact, it had been changing for a while now and I hadn’t even slowed down long enough to realize it. You see, my role as Mom still exists. I didn’t lose my role or identify just because they are not in our home 24/7.

I will always be their Mom. My role just looks a little bit different now. You see, instead of yelling down the hall to turn the music down, take out the garbage, or ask if your homework is done. I now get to receive excited texts all about their day. Funny pictures of them experiencing new things they wanted to share with me. Long, and trust me I mean LONG Facetime calls giving the breakdown of all the silly stories that have happened that they wanted to share with me. I even get to hear all about the future and how they are dreaming and planning for it.

So while I had spiraled and thought only the worst, I was now getting to experience all the good. I get to share and experience college through their eyes. I get to see all the countless reminders, life skills, wisdom sharing that we tried to share as parents through the years, all come together for this moment.

How rewarding is that?

I am Still Mom

Let me share with you fellow Moms! There is nothing better than hearing your kids adulting and knowing that you had a small part, or maybe a big part, in that! So, now instead of tears as I think of my “baby birds” being away from our nest, instead you will see me with a big smile on my face. You see, I am now enjoying the fruits of my labor.

My role as Mom continues and will always be there, it just looks a little different now and I love it!

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Laura Miller
Laura was born in California and hasn’t moved far since, a true California girl at heart. She and her husband John have been happily married for 25 years. They are blessed with two amazing daughters, Allison (20) is attending college locally and is studying to become a Nurse and Kristina (16) is finishing her Junior year of High School and already dreaming big dreams. Their last member of the family is a 10-year-old Yorkshire Terrier, Stewie. He is the attempt to help balance out the female hormones and not sure that worked out for her husband. Each day, Laura and John strive to support each other and hopefully not mess up too badly as they raise their girls in this crazy world.


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