I have too many words. Too many thoughts. Too many actions. Because everyBODY matters and while we say it, too often we do not put actions behind our beliefs, words and thoughts on this topic.
All of it? None of it? I don’t know.
The Battle
I’ve been struggling with this and many other topics around bodies and our society’s desire for thinness, in general. But when it comes to taking care of myself, this isn’t a new struggle. It’s something I have battled with since I was 10 years old and told that I was a whale by other kids.
It’s something I have been in recovery from ever since I first made the decision to starve myself and to put my fingers down my throat. It became my obsession when I became addicted to laxatives at 13 years old. It’s also how I met my superhero, at 14 years old when I was hospitalized for my eating disorders and under strict Dr’s orders to not be left alone for one hour after each meal and/or mandatory snack.
Love Our Body
We make certain foods “bad” and our fears and insecurities only grow. We introduce our children to “bad” foods and body dysmorphia in the ways we speak to ourselves regarding food and body image.
Can’t we just learn about foods and what foods work for our bodies AND enjoy wine and pizza and dessert in the moderation that works for our bodies and lifestyle? Without the shame of doing so? Or feeling like we need to “reset” our body every time we eat a peanut butter cup?
Can’t we just love our body, no matter what it looks like, because it has carried us through life. Can’t we just model these behaviors for our children?
>>RELATED TOPIC: Every Body is a Beach Body<<
Alive
I am alive!! Two years ago I was faced with death and my body did not give up. So why can’t being alive be enough?
Working out has not happened because my body has needed time to heal from knee surgery. My desire and expectation to “bounce back” has started to make me feel resentful.
I struggle with feeling like this isn’t my body, I have nothing that fits this body and being dissatisfied with myself and feeling the urge to jump into action but not having the mental energy to do so.
…so again, I have started to ask myself why?
Do I love my body..? Most days, yes!
Do I love the way my body looks? Most days no! But why? Am I too big? Do I have too much loose skin? Too many stretch marks?
Too…what? There will also be a “too”…when the only too that really matters is in my desire ‘to live’.
What if my body is killing it and it just looks different right now? Okay, that’s fair.
I Choose Me
Which brings me to today. I want to change… but I don’t want to change because I am dissatisfied with myself.
OR because I hate what I see in the mirror. OR because I don’t feel comfortable in my own skin.
I’ve decided I just miss feeling strong AF. I miss being free of physical pain and limitations.
So. today I chose to feel good for ME. Today, I chose to start because I want to feel good. I want to feel good for ME, because I deserve to feel good, because my daughter deserves a Mommy that feels good, a Mommy that feels her very best and models healthy behaviors.
This is not because I want to lose weight or change my body, even though parts of me do, but because it’s the best way I know how to fuel my body to feel healthy from the inside to the outside.
Heck YES!
So, HECK YES, to seasons being just that… a season.
HECK YES, to moving our bodies and loving them through the seasons of change.
YESSSSSSS to food education and using it as a tool to empower ourselves and our bodies rather than punish them.
Cheers to our bodies carrying us through our lives. Our bodies are the real hero in this “body positive” story.
Do you have a heck yessss for your body?
