Is This You?

Back in January, you swore that you’d start to workout and despite your best intentions maybe that didn’t happen.  Perhaps, you did manage to move your body, but compromised your meal plan a few too many times.  

Why can’t broccoli taste like a buttered baguette and baby carrots taste like Cheetos?!

Maybe you’ve maintained your size, but still don’t like what you see.  

July is here and you are forced to either find a new swimsuit or settle for an old one. 

Ugh!  I’ve been there, mama.  

Long Term Longing

I’ve experienced bikini body bedlam since childhood wishing for the “perfect” body.

I have tearfully tried on countless swimsuits praying to the Bikini Fairy that by some supernatural force my waistline would shrink, thighs would mimic those of a pop icon, and all the cellulite would vanish faster than an opened can of Pringles.  

There’s more (we might as well dream big).  

I wished for buns so high and tight that they’d make a Kardashian ugly cry.  

I pleaded for every varicose veins to vanish as my milky skin transitioned to a coppery pageant queen dream.  

I wanted to slip into my swimsuit looking teen-movie fabulous, wearing just enough coconut suntan lotion that the fragrance would kiss your nose as I passed you by.

Back to Reality

The Bikini Fairy never delivered.  Not the time I was in third grade and had to wear a shiny magenta spandex workout leotard to the lake because that’s all we could find at the local K-Mart.  She didn’t rescue me when I was in high school searching for a “not-so-grandma” one piece in a size 18W with my 105 lb BFF either.  

We looked like Disney’s Timon and Pumbaa in the Sears fitting room that day.  My swimsuit options resembled an elephant graveyard-bare bones.  I left feeling not so Hakuna Matata.

Fast forward a couple of decades, three kiddos, and a 60 pound weight loss later and I still wonder what she was thinking.

If my imaginary Bikini Fairy couldn’t come to my aid by giving me my dream beach body, could she at least give me some advice- give each of us some serious girl-to-girl counsel?

Here’s what my nearly forty year old mind thinks she’d say:

The Bikini Fairy Speaks

“Oh-oh, oh-oh! You need to calm down.  You’re being too loud.

 (Bikini fairies frequently quote Tay Tay).  

Quiet those thoughts in your head that make you feel inferior.  I’ve seen all kinds of beach bodies.  Each of them are equally flawed and fabulous.  

There’s infinite combinations of balanced beauty; no butt-great bust, narrow waist-back acne, nice neckline-knobby knees, lanky legs-flat abs, balanced physique-unwanted body hair, curvaceous thighs-cellulite.  

Every woman has something to boast about and gripe over.  You can’t waste your time being a perpetual before picture.  Your body is exactly as it should be right this moment.  

The picture of beauty is constantly changing.  Throughout the years I’ve watched breast implants become a must-have.  Another time looking like a starving drug addict was cool.  Then someone changed their mind and said we had to have itty bitty waists with a big booty.  

Beauty is subjective.  Confidence is universally sexy.

Stop wishing for a beach body.  EVERY body is a beach body.  You belong in a swimsuit just as much as any other.  You deserve to soak up the sun.  Stop trying to shame yourself skinny.  Stop complaining and give yourself a compliment. You deserve to be happy today.”  



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