My name isn’t Mom, Mommy or Bruh.  Before I had children I had a unique identity separate from other tiny humans.  

A New Name

I adore my kids, but there are times, typically at that 3-4pm witching hour when I’m ready to take on a new name.  On a super trying day, this will happen somewhere in between getting the kids out the door and that first sip of a morning brew.  However, there are days when my cup of tea isn’t enough to shake my attitude.

Not Today

“I don’t want to be a mom.  I want to be me, today” I whined to my bestie.  I would’ve complained to my hubby, but he was hiding in the bathroom and would be taking at least another 20 minutes.  

“Remember when you were cool?  When you had cute clothes and knew all of the current music and trendy places to go?”  We both sighed, then laughed at how thrilling it is to go to Target without kids these days.

A Privilege

If you’re a stay-at-home-mom like me, you might recall having a paying job with mandatory break times and the occasional free latte or lunch to boost employee morale.  My last “real” job even had mini proms, well, holiday parties, which were the perfect excuse to get dolled up and G.L.A.M.O.R.OUS.  Those days were pretty sweet.

My current life is even sweeter, but I often take it for granted.  Sure, I have to hear my kids call me, “Mom. Mom.  Mommy.  Mooooom!” one thousand times each per day.  But it’s a privilege.  It’s more of a get-to than a have-to.

I no longer get paid in funds, but I do get special moments directly deposited into my heart on a daily basis.  

Today I Am Queen

So what do I do to change my attitude when the word mom nearly makes my ears bleed?  

It’s become a joke in our house, but I actually tell my kids that my name isn’t mom.  “Today my name is Queen,”  I’ll declare and by now they know what that means.  

It means that Mom is going to ignore their whines in the most dignified manner (chin in the air).  It means that she decides the music we listen to in the car.  It means that no one is to knock while the queen is on the throne because queens poop alone.  

And it also means that the queen might need some quiet time, naptime, or even gym time in order to recharge.  We can go further and allow for time pursuing passions and gathering with friends.  

Be You

You have your own name.  Your own dynamic personality and distinct gifts that go beyond your motherly duties.  It’s okay to just be you sometimes. 

woman screaming

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Tara is a small town California girl from the Central Valley. She met her best friend turned husband shortly after high school. They met at a Hot Topic, while she was "shopping" at the mall. He was the cute emo kid from Simi Valley that her heart couldn't resist. Nearly twenty years later, they have 3 children ages 13, 8, and 6. Tara is a Licensed Cosmetologist, Certified Personal Trainer, Health Coach, and SAHHM (stay at home homeschooling mom). She attributes her appreciation for witnessing beauty and transformation to leading her to wear many hats. Whether it's changing a hairstyle, one's physique, increasing knowledge or changing one's point of view, she's passionate about helping others become their personal best. When she's not leading a workout or teaching her kids, you'll find her at a local mexican restaurant (because tacos are life), visiting a museum, hiking, or listening to live music. Tara is proud to be a contributor for the Ventura County Mom Collective. "I hope to encourage more women to honor their bodies and use their personal gifts, so that collectively, we can make a greater impact in this world."


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