I’m far-sighted.. and it’s not a good thing.

Anxiety

I’ve been reading about anxiety lately. The idea is that anxiety is related to the past or the future, and that to quell it, you should realize that in this moment you are okay, and focus on that.  Worrying about future problems that may or may not shake out, or dwelling on a past we can’t change doesn’t do us any good.

I get it.

I like it.

I need it.

But that far sightedness extends to my anxiety as well as to my excitement, and I’m trying to figure out how to be better in the present.

I’m Anxious About Some Future Things, and Yet Excited About Others.

In July, a friend gave me a reality check; “this is the third time this month you have mentioned Halloween costumes.. you are really proactive this year, aren’t you!” But in October, did I have the costume executed to perfection and take time to bask in the Halloween moment? Not really. I did my typical, use make-up and buy a hoodie I can prudently wear often going forward routine. But it was fine, because at that point I was pinning holiday wreath DIYs. I was going on long walks planning where I was going to steal my greenery for these fabulous wreaths that I was going to make for my amazing first annual holiday open house décor.  I better schedule it early because, again, I know myself: I’ll be decorating the house with the Mariah Carey Christmas album on November 28th but by 10 am Christmas morning I’ll have taken the tree down. I will be totally done with Christmas and dreaming up the annual Valentine’s Day photo shoot I always do with my sister’s kids.

My husband has noticed this about me as well.  “It’s going to be so great when we are old…” I have said a few times too many. “..and we’ll be retired and won’t have anything to do, and we can take walks around the neighborhood and sip lattes and stuff!”

“Why are you wishing our lives away?” He’ll ask me.

Because this is the hard part, I figure. Won’t it get easier? I keep hoping.

I Balance My Anxiety of the Future (Potential) Negative…

(what will happen when our year’s lease is up.. will they raise rent? I wonder how much they will raise it? What if we have to move! What if there is nowhere to move to? Or, what if we sign another year’s lease and then we do want to move?)

… with the future (potential) positive…

 (I will make a really beautiful holiday party this year, and everyone will come and make their own ornaments, it’ll be a new tradition and I’ll do it every year… I’ll make those wreaths and that orange bread my mom made… oh and that sugar cookie Christmas tree kit…).

And to what end? Half the time the negative never comes true but neither does the positive. I’ll be too over-scheduled to host the party or I do but my wreaths turn out much worse in real life than they did in my head or on Pinterest.

And so what? Is it keeping me happy or making me crazy?  What can I do better?

How Can I Focus the Moment?

For the positive, I try to either work toward execution in the moment or true tangible planning to bring the positive closer to fruition and reap results in the now.  So designing an invitation when I’m inspired and having it ready to go out in a month or two is something I can do now to bring the future positive to fruition before I lose steam. Making a list of where I can find those greeneries on my long walks so I don’t forget when it’s time to collect them, or buying the floral wire when I see it at the dollar store are things I can do early to make the future positive happen.  Notebooks of lists and ideas keep the inspiration alive and are useful to pare down or choose from when the true time for execution is in front of me.

For the negative, I’ll do the opposite.  I think about it now. If there’s anything I can do now to avoid future worst case scenarios, I’ll do it, but mostly it’s time to realize that most won’t happen or if they do there is nothing I can do now to plan for them.  I can’t scope the “for rent” or “for sale” homes posted now for a worst case option next fall – they just won’t be available. So I’ll spend my time planning my Christmas trees and my holiday open house/birthday party and my Valentine’s Day photo shoots!

Focus and Plan

If you get anxious like I do, focus on the current state and plan for the positive! Plus good begets good… so by creating more positivity by incrementally planning pieces, you have a great present and a great future coming your way!

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Gia is a native Californian who has lived all over the state from San Diego to Trinity County, plus Washington DC for a short time. She recently relocated to Ventura County with her family to build a compound property together with her sister’s family so that they could always share wardrobes and parenting responsibilities for their 5 combined children at home. Gia graduated from UCSB with a degree in Linguistics (which she thinks entitles her to make up words). It took her just three years, as she was eager to graduate early to go live with her long distance boyfriend and his toddler daughter at the time. That seemed to work out, as the boyfriend got promoted to husband years ago and her step-daughter promoted her to grandmother recently! Gia’s husband is from East Africa and runs their Bed and Breakfast in Tanzania from near and far. Gia is a Human Resources Director who has a major obsession with watermelon and eggnog lattes, depending on the season.

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