“If you love me, you don’t have to hate her. And if you love her, you don’t need to hate me.” -Meghan Markle
Binary thinking is a one way ticket to failure. The most damaging form of polarity is when it creates a divide so deep within the family tree that it ultimately leads to one branch willingly breaking itself off.
Interview
The world has finally come to terms with Meghan and Prince Harry’s explosive interview that took place earlier this year. The Duke and Duchess of Sussex took an opportunity to set their story straight after their public decision to break ties with Harry’s side took the internet by storm. Their vulnerability didn’t just serve 17.1 viewers with some juicy royal tea, it also brought an uncomfortable subject to light.
Meghan and Harry validated that most families are dysfunctional, no matter who you are or where you come from. Their message was clear and understood, your mental health should never be compromised for the sake of loyalty.
Most people in this type of situation would try to hide the madness and continue to live in misery. But instead of just dealing with it, maybe you need to make a joint decision to end the toxic cycle together. You might need to attempt to break away from the source as one.
You’re probably asking yourself, what makes a family toxic?
How do you know if you and your spouse are trapped in a similar environment?
Signs of A Toxic Family Environment
A toxic family unit is something that provides you with nothing good. It holds no value, there is no acceptance, and absolutely zero support. Trust me, it’s not somewhere you or your immediate circle needs to be. My very best advice for anyone battling a destructive family relationship is “Get out TOGETHER while you still have a chance”.
Obviously, my escape wasn’t from a royal lineage. This is real life. Sorry, no ball gowns.
The only similarity I share with Meghan and her prince is that our fairytale may not be as perfect as it seems, and that’s okay. Dysfunctional family relationships are more common than you realize. Their ugliness does not make my story any less beautiful.
I chose to share it as the villain’s downfall in my book.
Now, most people in this type of situation would be afraid to speak up out of fear of making things worse…right? (As my hands continuously shake with anxiety while writing this).
Well, like Meghan said during the interview, “What’s there to lose when all is already lost?”
Sharing My Story
I am choosing to share my story so that someone else has a genuine resource to fall back on. I believe there’s power in sharing the stories that shape us.
Being able to publicly take ownership of your story can be a form of healing in a “narrative therapy approach”.
The beauty of speaking your truth is found within the courage to honor your voice.
The more we share, the more walls we are able to break down.
Attempting to make a toxic family work is the root of all suffering, but society and our culture has somehow guilted us into remaining loyal to our narcissistic members. Now more than ever a huge movement to validate “breaking up” with family is taking over. It’s becoming less of a taboo subject and more of an empathetic discussion to have.
Meghan’s time as a Royal and her escape out of that life has taught me to always stand firmly on my truth. I know now that I should never let anyone remove me from what I know is right or wrong.
Also, find some comfort in knowing that even in the most beautiful fairy tale, nothing is ever as it seems.
*AHEM, THE BRITISH ROYAL FAMILY BEING BLESSED WITH THEIR OWN AMERICAN PRINCESS*