October is National Bullying Prevention and Awareness Month.
The CDC says, bullying is aggressive behavior (verbal, physical, psychological, social, educational, relational, electronic, or damaging to property). Bullying, usually a repeated occurrence, which often involves a power imbalance, can be violent, harmful, distressing, and targeted.
The statistics are shocking! According to the Centers for Disease, Control, and Prevention, “About 1 in 5 high school students reported being bullied on school property. More than 1 in 6 high school students reported being bullied electronically in the last year.” Plus, members of some groups are bullied more than others.
Getting bullied can lead to self-harm, depression, anxiety, insomnia, low grades, or drop out.
Bullies are also at risk for problems, including drug, tobacco, and alcohol use; academic issues; mental health concerns; and behavioral troubles.
The CDC lists risk-and-protective factors that may affect the possibility of bullying, depending on circumstances. One important finding is that building community (through sports, work, activities, leadership offerings at school, educational opportunities, and volunteerism) helps positively connect people across circles. Having a caring and trusted adult to talk with makes a difference, too.
StopBullying.Gov is a great resource regarding cyberbullying, laws, social media, safety, warning signs, and bystanders.
- Here’s a telling article about bullying and bystanders.
- Social media considerations are noted in this article and within the embedded hyperlinks.
Reading social and emotional learning (SEL) type books on the topic can be helpful, interactive, and thought provoking (and less like a lecture for your kids). Here’s a list of book recommendations.
What are some strategies you might suggest to your children or teens if they get bullied?
I would encourage them to speak with a trusted adult who ideally understands the context. Parents can brainstorm with their youngsters on who that could be—at home and school, in sports, or within the church and other communities. Journaling, painting, or drawing are good outlets for self-expression and emotional release. Of course, parents should contact school administrators, coaches, or group leaders if they feel that a situation needs to be officially addressed.
RELATED TOPIC: Sticks and Stones and Middle School Bystanders
Let’s face it, navigating parenthood, especially the tween/teen years, can be challenging at times. Here’s an article that wisely speaks to the adolescent aspect.
So, how do we talk to our offspring about not becoming bullies or bystanders?
I think making a hypothetical scenario personal is worth pondering. Ask, “What if this were so-and-so, what would you do, how would you feel? Could you act as an upstander?” Let kids contemplate possibilities in a safe and comfortable environment where they can explore ideas from afar.
Other suggestions?
We can discourage bullying by talking about empathy, reading books, and watching family movies for storytelling exposure to different perspectives.
