After your second child, the juggling begins. It’s funny how by the time we have our second, we feel we are an old pro this time. It’s no longer a new experience.
But it is. Raising one child is hard enough. Now there is another child that you must devote your time to. We all know with a newborn, it’s wants and needs become a priority. But we feel bad for our older child being robbed of precious time because mommy or daddy are busy with the new baby. So, we have to think of creative ways to manage our time. Even when the newborn is no longer a newborn, we need to make time for each individual child.
They are Each Different
Having twins can make this more of a tricky situation. The beauty is every child is different. We must pay extra close attention to each of our children’s unique interests. What their wants and dislikes are. What makes their eyes shine. It could be as simple as going to the movies, getting ice cream or going to their favorite restaurant.
It’s funny both of my daughters have different food palates. One loves seafood and the other one loves steak. What I used to do when they were smaller was get someone to watch the children. I would rotate who’s going to be the lucky one where we get some one-on-one quality time. There’s also the issue I know if the other child or children are going to be jealous because of the quality time and how they feel left out. You can try and explain why it’s important and when their turn will be. You can also bring back something special just to show you think they are important also. I’ve been fortunate not having to do damage control on why I was only taking one child when I left the house.
As They Get Older
Since they’ve gotten older, sometimes they volunteer to do errands with me so they are not stuck in the house. Maybe that’s a nonverbal sign suggesting that they need some attention. But of course, every child is different. I have learned as they get older into their teenage years this turns more into having more in-depth conversations. They are more willing to open up to you about a problem that they had pinned up inside but didn’t feel they had the opportunity or privacy to share what was on their mind. One of my daughter’s is into gardening. So sometimes I go into the backyard and help her garden and she opens up to me. This is a great setting for her comfort level. My other daughter loves to go on dog walks and that’s a great time for me to give her that undivided attention.
They are Loved and Valued
Realistically it’s never going to be easy. At the end of the day, we can only show them how much we love and value them. And that can start with making individual time for each child.