My daughter Faith is 11. She is so smart, strong, brave, funny, and talented. She is amazing and her smile lights up the world.
Feelings
We’ve been talking a lot about feelings. It’s important to me that Faith knows her feelings are important and that they are validated. I want her to know that she can always talk to me and that she is also enough. I want to give her an outlet and a safe place to share her feelings. Being a kid these days is so hard and there are so many pressures that I wish I could take away.
It’s Hard To Talk About Feelings
It’s not easy for most adults to talk about their feelings, let alone a tween or teen going through all the pressures that go along with this age. Talking about feelings is hard no matter how old you are but to a child it’s even harder. They need to feel safe in sharing but also really understand what they are sharing.
Using Colors
So, instead of asking how she feels we talk about colors. After she tells me about something I ask her to close her eyes and tell me what color she sees. After Faith names her color we talk about what that color means to her and/or what characteristic she would give the color. For example, she said her color was blue because her feelings keep changing like water keeps moving. Or she might see orange, which is a combo of red and yellow or anger (at the time) but also neutral because she’s moved past it.
Our “name your color” conversations have been so powerful for both of us. Faith not only feels heard and has an outlet but she is also learning to not give away her power in these conversations. Rather than my pulling feelings out of her or assuming her feelings, she is able to reflect and truly know and understand her feelings.
Do you feel in colors?
