As parents our main purpose is to raise our children to be strong, independent, confident, and loving adults. Yet, we walk a thin line between wanting to shelter them from everything that’s wrong with the world and needing them to know just enough so that they are aware. I struggle with this…not just with world events but also with life inside our home, and in who I am as a person, a woman, a wife, and a mother.
My Truth
My truth is not always based on fact, it’s also based on my personal values, experiences and perceptions. I think one of the greatest gifts I can give to my daughter is sharing my truth. My daughter will be 12 in June and she’s at this stage of life where she wants to speak her truth and she is longing to be her own person. Yet, she is confused with understanding the world, the people around her, her feelings, her thoughts, and her body. As she gets older and more exposed to the world around her, my parenting has had to grow and evolve with her.
*RELATED TOPIC: Let’s Start the Conversation with Our Children About Feelings*
Creating a Safe Space
I have come to realize that she needs to know me not just as ‘Mom’ but also as a person. I have to let her see my vulnerabilities and I see my vulnerabilities. In doing so I have created a safe space where she can feel free to do the same. Talking to my daughter has been a gift to the both of us; she has gotten to know me as more than just ‘Mom’ and I have gotten to know her as more than just ‘kiddo’.
Empowering Her
I am not looking to be my daughter’s best friend. Best friends are equals and as long as she depends on me for emotional and physical growth and financial support we will never be equals. More so, I am not looking to be her best friend because best friends tell each other everything and in this safe space of vulnerability and non-judgmental parenting my daughter has been encouraged to come to me to discuss anything, on her terms. She knows she can depend on me to listen, to affirm her value, worth and meet her emotional and physical needs. I do all this while empowering her to be her own person and have her own separate relationships.
Her Truth
…and as she begins to walk her own path, I can take comfort in knowing that she will do so confidently, boldly and powerfully knowing and speaking her truth.
