Every family is unique and comes with its own set of experiences, relationships, thorns, and roses.
This can feel especially true for blended and coparenting families. When I started out this Stepmomming journey, I knew I would face some emotional battles that were relatively unmet by my mom friends. I made it a point to join Stepmom groups and gather intel from some of the stepmoms I had admired growing up.
That said, a common theme that kept arising as we neared Mother’s Day was hearing a lot of stepmoms who feel pangs of sadness and even resentment on this day in particular. It was heartbreaking to hear their very “mom-like” stories of breaking fevers, soothing heartache, helping with homework, and making lunches only to be forgotten on the day that celebrates women for performing these exact duties.
As a self proclaimed forward thinker, I decided to do a little research before our first “real” Mother’s Day with my girls (I had only known them a few weeks for the first actual Mother’s Day we knew each other). With divorce rates being what they are, and second (third, and fourth) marriages being what they are, I wanted to see how other people navigated these murky waters . . . and that is when I discovered the answer to my prayers: Stepmother’s Day.
Happy Stepmother’s Day
Stepmother’s Day IS an actual holiday celebrated the Sunday after Mother’s Day each year! So, I had the luxury of celebrating my very first Stepmother’s Day with breakfast in bed, a musical Marathon, lunch and dinner provided by hubby and girls, and a day off from chores.
So now, rather than feeling unappreciated or resentful on Mother’s Day, I’ve come up with three reasons our family chooses to celebrate Stepmother’s Day instead.
Why I Celebrate
1. Our girls have a biological mother. It has never been my intention to replace her or compete with her. Our girls deserve to celebrate their relationship with her without feeling torn between two households that day.
2. I love being a stepmom and happily celebrate the STEP in my title.
3. I get spoiled for an entire day without having to concern myself with getting gifts and goodies to the other mothers in my life the same day (I have to admit – I totally luck out on this one!)
This isn’t intended as a checklist of what you should be doing, or a reason to feel guilty for doing things differently or feeling what you feel – it is intended simply to be a glimpse into the life of a family doing something a little bit out of the ordinary. Therefore, if you find value and comfort in the thought of celebrating Stepmother’s Day, please do. You work hard at being a Stepparent to the kiddos in your life and you deserve to be celebrated too.
