You wait patiently (or maybe not so patiently) those 40 long weeks of pregnancy until the day has come to give birth. Such an exciting time, but what happens when your amazing baby arrives into the world and there are problems.

You care and nurture not only your body, but your growing child inside you. You do everything right, the exercise, the carrot sticks, giving up the coffee and being sure to get the restful sleep you need for your body…well at least until those last couple of weeks. Nothing is comfortable then!

Even after doing all that, At 5 weeks I found myself outside an operating room handing over my little girl to a stranger, an unfamiliar nurse in scrubs, as she takes her to the operating room.

Trust your Instincts

I was a new Mom. You know the ones that get the bad rep for blowing everything out of proportion?

I kept telling our pediatrician, family and friends that something wasn’t right. Our perfect little girl was not nursing well. Add to that fact, she was vomiting after every feeding. It became so bad that family members would bring a change of clothes when visiting us after her birth. Pretty sure that is not normal!

After each visit whether it was the Pediatrician or a friend or family member, I would feel discouraged and frustrated. How many times can one hear, it is just a bug or the flu?? Stop worrying, everything is fine!

My husband and I did not let it go, we kept pushing the doctors. While we realized we were new parents and did not have the experience and knowledge of all the doctors; we felt sure it was more than just a bug or the flu. Well, we finally got someone to listen to us and schedule additional testing.

Moms and Dads, always trust your instincts!

You know your child best! You don’t need initials after your name to know when something is not right with your child.

And sure enough, it was not the flu, she had a condition known as Pyloric Stenosis. One of the valves to her stomach was sealed closed and food and nutrients were not making it into her system. As such, everything she would take into her body would come right back up after feeding. Surgery would be required to go in and open up the valve.

Surgery is a “big deal” for adults, but to think of it for your little girl, is unthinkable! All I could see was this tiny defenseless little girl that couldn’t speak up for herself. It was up to her Dad and I to protect her. Yet here I was handing her over to a stranger, an unknown nurse, to get a surgery that hopefully would save her life and not make it worse.

Was it something I did?

Do you do this too? I automatically go to the negative. There is a lot of time to think in those sad, quiet waiting rooms as you await news.

We begin to think…was it something I did?
Did I do this to my little girl?
Should I have eaten differently?
Did I remember to take all my prenatal vitamins?
Did I get the right prenatal care?
Did I…Did I…Did I??

These questions can drive you crazy and are not productive. What matters is that you are doing something for your child now. You are doing your best now. You are getting help now.

Get Support

Another thing, some of us are blessed to have is family close by to help us during difficult times.

What a luxury!

Sometimes we take for granted the amazing gift we have been given to have support during those difficult times, or even the good times to have someone to share things with. Never is it more important than when things aren’t how we pictured them to be, is to have some type of family support.

Maybe you’re thinking to yourself, well that is great for some people, but maybe your parents are no longer around, or maybe they were never in the picture of your lives. What then??

Not all of us have the luxury of having family around to support us when times get tough. However, family isn’t the only place we can find support. Friends are family that you choose for yourself. Lean on your friends during the hard times. Get the support you need. You don’t have to do it alone.

I will always remember close friends setting up a meal train for us during this time. Yes, we had family close by, but they were consumed with everything too. But without even having to ask, friends had set up dinners for us for several weeks while we navigated the hospital and the aftermath. Although, we weren’t the ones that were sick. We now did not have to think about grocery shopping, food preparation or even assembling some type of meal or fast food drive thru. We literally did not have to think of anything, but caring for our little girl.

Everything Is Going to be Ok

Getting back to those long hours waiting with tear stained eyes, as I stared at the clock hand tick slowly by, that nurse reappeared to us. Our little girl had made it through surgery and was going to be ok. She would have her first battle scar of her life, just above her belly button, but otherwise she would be none the worse for wear.

Everything was going to be okay. And maybe just maybe our friends and family wouldn’t have to bring multiple changes of clothes to visit us anymore!

worried mother

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Laura Miller
Laura was born in California and hasn’t moved far since, a true California girl at heart. She and her husband John have been happily married for 25 years. They are blessed with two amazing daughters, Allison (20) is attending college locally and is studying to become a Nurse and Kristina (16) is finishing her Junior year of High School and already dreaming big dreams. Their last member of the family is a 10-year-old Yorkshire Terrier, Stewie. He is the attempt to help balance out the female hormones and not sure that worked out for her husband. Each day, Laura and John strive to support each other and hopefully not mess up too badly as they raise their girls in this crazy world.


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