You know the signs, or even hear them behind closed eyes. The scuffle over a toy, the raised voices that begin to echo down the stairwell. It has begun the endless fighting! Will it ever end?

If you have more than one kid, I am sure you can resonate with the above scenario. And please don’t point to your latest highlight reel on Instagram with your kids hugging each other as if they are the best of friends! Let’s get real with each other!

Siblings DO NOT get along ALL the time!

It doesn’t seem to matter if you have boys or girls, or a mixture of the two. If you have two individuals who have grown up in a household together, there has been some form of argument through the years.


Did you have the fantasy built up in your mind that you would have your kids “close together” so that they would be the best of friends???

Or maybe you decided that you would space them out so that they would be a mature big sister or brother to their sibling. Almost like another mommy or daddy to help raise your child with you?

How is that working out for you? Are you ready to throw in the towel yet? Re-examine all your life choices after just one more fight or argument between them?

If we are truthful with ourselves, we have all been there with our kids! Whether we planned our kids close together in age, or they are many years apart. No one gets along all the time! Add in elevating hormones, growing up and maturing through life and close quarters together, it can be a recipe for disaster.

So are you destined to hear the same argument for the next 18 years….well… maybe for the next several years at least.

But hold on, there is hope!

Hold on to Hope

Just like you I would begin cringing as the arguing started. It would begin slowly and then eventually escalate until it was an almost full scale verbal attack where the loudest one wins!

I would find myself asking, “Why could they not just get along?”

While I always hoped that maybe the next year would be better or as they got older. Maybe this would be the year that things would improve. While the fighting and arguments might have changed, it took quite some time to improve.

You see, the topic of the argument just seemed to change with their age. What once was arguing over a ball or a toy, transitioned to Barbies, which transitioned to makeup, which transitioned to the bathroom itself.

It could just be a look across the table, a snarky comment due to a bad day. It didn’t seem to matter, some days. It was like dry kindling that only needed a spark to ignite in our household!

But then I recall my childhood. You see, I was once the same with my sibling. We could draw lines in the bathroom and all it took was one little misstep and World War III has begun! It became so bad at one point that my sister and I weren’t able to be in the same bathroom at the same time. We had to take turns so as not to start arguing over the slightest misstep! And don’t even get me started on getting to the shower first!

My sanity was tested through the years! If I am being honest, my voice was also raised a time or two during these arguments through the years!

How come they just can’t get along with each other??

Why can’t my kids be like my sister and I?

Why do they have to be so difficult?

Then I remember. I am thinking of the relationship with my sister now.

Ever since we have moved out from the same household, things have changed.

What is that phrase…Distance makes the heart grow fonder?
Could it be that just simple separation could be the answer?
Do we begin to treasure or appreciate things as we get older?

Yes, but I don’t think we have to wait until our middle age years to appreciate our siblings. Just some time apart might be the answer.

And then….it happened!

That golden day, the golden hour, that moment when there was silence in our household!

While I don’t encourage any of your kids to move states away from you. It seemed to be the answer to our problem. Now instead of arguing or yelling or doors slamming shut afterward. I hear laughter behind closed doors. I hear stories of snapchats with her sister, or believe it or not, the words, I miss having her here with me.

Maybe it meant one of my kids was far away in another state, but there was peace and harmony again in the household.

Until of course….the next time she comes home from college for break!

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Laura Miller
Laura was born in California and hasn’t moved far since, a true California girl at heart. She and her husband John have been happily married for 25 years. They are blessed with two amazing daughters, Allison (20) is attending college locally and is studying to become a Nurse and Kristina (16) is finishing her Junior year of High School and already dreaming big dreams. Their last member of the family is a 10-year-old Yorkshire Terrier, Stewie. He is the attempt to help balance out the female hormones and not sure that worked out for her husband. Each day, Laura and John strive to support each other and hopefully not mess up too badly as they raise their girls in this crazy world.


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