Being a stay-at-home dad was never part of my career plan. Like everyone else, 2020 changed the path of my life and my career! By day I worked in a Special Education classroom and by night I was a caregiver to special needs adults. I never feared losing these jobs, even in the face of the pandemic, but my partner and I had our first child on the way.
So Many Unknowns
Fear of the unknown about parenthood, the pandemic, and our finances was creeping in. While I was working two jobs and my partner working full-time, we knew after parental leave, we would put our baby in daycare or hire a nanny. We reviewed our budget and quickly ruled out hiring a nanny. We were hesitant to put our infant in daycare with so much unknown in the world, but it was our only option.
Deciding Who Will BE The Stay-at-Home Parent
Being first-time parents, we looked at daycare options and found a world of possibilities. Most of the options we could not afford on our income. We explored the prices of in-home daycare, preschools that accepted infants, and daycare facilities. We knew having a child would not be cheap, but we were fully unprepared for the financial burden of daycare.
My partner and I both have family members who are stay-at-home moms and briefly explored her taking time away from work. However, her career is well underway and is our primary source of income and insurance, so that idea was quickly dismissed. Jokingly, I suggested I become a stay-at-home dad, but of course, I loved my jobs. I could not imagine leaving the classroom and kids during the day or the adults I spent the evenings with.
Taking The Leap To Be A SAHD
As her due date approached, my partner repeatedly mentioned the idea of me staying home with the baby. Gradually it began growing on us. By her third trimester, we decided that I would apply for FMLA leave once our son arrived and would then inform my employers that I would not be returning.
The decision was finally made for two reasons: First, I wanted to be able to spend time with my family. Second, it was financially smart. We knew we would have to budget better and become more frugal. However, the benefit of having a stay-at-home parent far outweighed the idea of working two jobs that would barely cover the cost of childcare.
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It’s Not All Sunshine and Rainbows!
Since our son was born in December 2020, being a stay-at-home dad has been the greatest joy and hardest thing I have ever done. I was present to provide support during my partner’s recovery, through her experience with postpartum anxiety, and postpartum depression. I have witnessed all my son’s firsts, our family schedule is more flexible, and my housekeeping knowledge has grown significantly.
On the other hand, I have also experienced the crushing loneliness from being a stay-at-home parent. We moved to a new city without any friends. Due to the pandemic, meeting people was both difficult and scary. The parenting groups I found were mom focused and awkward to attend as a dad. Eventually, we found a group of friends through the Peanut mom app, where I met the husbands of my partners friends.
>>RELATED TOPIC:: Your Life Is Going To Change<<
The SAHD Life
Being a stay-at-home dad is not a typical role and not one I ever would have thought of finding myself. I have laughed, cried, cleaned, and made messes, and felt gratitude and profound honor being able to experience the stay-at-home dad life.
