Statistics show that women are becoming first time mothers later in life, with the median age reaching 30 years old (Source). With more of a focus on career achievements, travel and the ever increasing cost of daily living, women are waiting to experience motherhood, if deciding to do so at all, later in life. So how do you navigate having a baby at an earlier age, when none of your peers have even thought about entering into this next chapter? How do we go from the best friend to the new mom?
Old and New
One of the most challenging parts when becoming a new parent, is balancing the old with the new. Your old self may have loved the late Friday night girls dinner, or the spontaneous wine tasting trip. Your new self prefers bedtime stories, with your toddler, snuggled up in jammies and early morning pancake breakfasts.
A big question we might ask ourselves is how do we keep this balance of our old and new selves? Or alternatively, do we dive head first into this new season of parenthood and know that our friends may not understand in the moment. But when their time comes, we will be there with open arms.
Feelings of frustration and misunderstanding are bound to happen when you are experiencing life, vastly different from those around you. Your childless friends are not going to understand the strict feeding and nap schedule your baby is on. Or the importance of not missing bath time.
So here are a few tips to share with those friends who have not yet experienced parenthood but are watching on the sidelines as you enter and develop into this new season.
Tips for Childless Friends in Support of New Parents
Be Mindful of Time
When a child is involved, they run the show. Scheduling if often done around their routine. Our favorite breakfast spot that doesn’t open until 10am is now more of a lunch spot for your new parent friends.
Last Minute Plans = No Plans
A “Let’s grab a beer” text needs to be made days in advance for the new parents to be able to attend. Finding a babysitter, or coordinating bedtime coverage isn’t always the easiest.
Location, Location, Location
When you do get the chance to hangout with new parents, be mindful of where you are meeting. The last place mom and dad want to go is a loud restaurant or a place with no bathroom.
Take the Baby
If you are successful in getting mom and dad out of the house, consider yourself lucky! This is a great time for you to bond with the baby or toddler. Offer to hold the baby while mom drinks her coffee on your coffee date. Or run around with the toddler while dad takes a break and sits down to enjoy his burger.
New Parent
As new parents, all we can do is embrace the time we are in, find our old selves in small moments and be there for our friends in ways we wish they had been there for us, when they enter into parenthood. It’s all a learning experience. Being the friend you needed when you were in the thick of it will be such a treasure to friends in the future when they are ready to embark on the greatest experience of our lives.
