I don’t know about you, but it seems like every birthday party invitation my child brings home is actually an invitation to the event of the year! The invitation promises elaborate entertainment, celebrity sightings, world class cuisine and swag bags to brag about. Yes, it seems the days of homemade cakes and pin the tail on the donkey are a thing of the past.
The Birthday Parties
If you enjoy throwing a one of a kind birthday party for your child, please know I am not knocking or judging you. Believe me, my kids thoroughly enjoy these parties. And I know for many moms it is a great joy to plan, execute and then enjoy the huge smile on your child’s face at the party.
These parties are great but I also believe they are missing something. I want to share why my family leans towards the more “old-fashioned” and simple birthday parties and the huge lessons my kids have learned from them.
An “Old-Fashion” Birthday Party
I have three children and their ages are 12, 10, and 8. So of course you can see we have thrown our fair share of parties. And every single one of them has been at our house or a park. They all include some type of easy food (usually Little Caesars Pizza) and a homemade cake I make myself (and no I am not a baker)! And the big kicker that people usually gasp at… we invite EVERY single kid in the class.
We have had Pokemon’ scavenger hunts, pirate treasure maps, foam princess tiara crafts and even Harry Potter wand making. It doesn’t matter what we do, we just try to keep it fun, simple and easy.
Lessons My Family Is Learning
We are Building a Community
Probably my favorite thing about having a party at our house and keeping it low key, is that I actually get to visit with the parents of the children invited. We are newer to Ventura County, so I count on birthday parties to meet other parents. While the kids play and eat, I get to build a stronger relationship with the parents in my child’s class. In my opinion, this is such a valuable relationship.
The Long Lasting Memory
When I look back at my own childhood, I remember very little about my birthday parties. But there is one thing that stands out so fresh in my mind and it is the cakes my mom made me. My mom is not a trained baker and they were not the prettiest cakes, but to this day my memories wrap around the panda and CareBear cake she made me. I have decided to carry on this tradition and make all my children’s birthday cakes. There are no fondant or sculpted cakes; just easy DIY Pinterest cakes made especially for my kiddo! A true one of a kind cake they will always remember.
Looking Out for the Left Out
One heart-warming benefit of a home birthday party is you are not limited to the number of kids that can be invited. Every year, yes EVERY year, there is at least one parent who will pull aside and thank me for inviting their child. I can feel the hurt in their voice as they tell me their child has never been invited to a party. I know that most people are not purposely choosing to leave kids off the birthday list, but when you have a party that limits how many kids can come, there is always someone left out. I can not imagine being a child who has not had the joy of attending a birthday party.
Although I don’t know the hurt of my child never being invited, I can tell you that being a new family to this area it was hard watching my kids be told “Sorry I would invite you to my party but I can only have 10 friends”. Since my kid was new, they were on the bottom of the invite list. Thankfully, friendship has been established and they have been invited. But what about those kids who struggle with friendships or are never invited.
I talk with my kids about why we invite everyone. And yes, you can guess that sometimes there is a child they don’t want to invite for various reasons but I am so proud that my kids are learning to include others, look out for the left out and work to have healthy relationships (even with a kid who is hard to be around).
New Friends
Another great benefit of inviting all the kids from the class is making new friends. Sure, the kids are all in the same class but that doesn’t necessarily mean they really know each other. It has happened on several occasions that my child has made a great new friend with a classmate because they were in a different environment. All of a sudden they realize how much they have in common or enjoy playing together and just like that, a new friendship is established. I want my child to have many friends and birthday parties are a great place to start new friendships.
Less Stress, Less Mess
Let’s be honest, planning a grand, elaborate party can be stressful and overwhelming. I think sometimes at these parties, the parents do not even get the time to enjoy the party with their child. I opt for less stress and less mess with a simple birthday party. By the time the party’s over, the food has been eaten, the games have been put away and everyone leaves happy.
A Not So Simple Birthday Party
While I keep my kid’s birthday parties simple, the reasons behind it are not so simple. My kids are learning compassion for others, to be open to new friendships and that the best way to celebrate is to be surrounded by old and new friends. I reap the benefits as well by building community with other parents and watching my kids grow.
So, GO AHEAD MAMA! Throw a simple birthday party. You just might be surprised how wonderful of a celebration it is.
