Beyond the twin xl sheets and mini fridge lies a mom who wants move-in day to run as seamlessly as possible. For weeks now they have been keeping an eye out for deals on Amazon and have those blue Ikea bags everyone recommends piled in the corner ready to be stuffed within an inch of their zippered life. You have the checklist managed, but what do you really need on this monumental day?
A Pound of Patience
I hate to break it to you, but no matter how much you plan ahead and try to minimize the stress for move-in day, it is unlikely to go as planned, and it is bound to be stressful.
New situations inevitably bring anxiety and stress. At least in my life. I read all of the “what to bring” lists published by the school as well as the seemingly hundreds floating around the internet. My daughter will tell you that she didn’t need half of the things that were sold to us as essentials. Be prepared to return unneeded items or storage that doesn’t fit even though the measurements you took during the tour or found on the website said it would.
The day will be hot. It will be chaotic with students everywhere and narrow stairs to lug things up. Several trips up and down I might add. Bring a pound or two of patience. Go into the day knowing it won’t flow perfectly and you will be much better prepared to stay calm and deal with whatever the day brings.
A Gallon of Grace
It’s important to remember that everyone around you is also experiencing a range of emotions. Be patient with other parents and students who perhaps aren’t able to showcase their best selves in this situation. I saw one mom offer another a tissue when she started crying and another grab sunscreen to share with a fellow parent who was developing a sunburn on the back of his neck. Be kind to those around you and know that they need your grace as much as you need theirs to get through this day.
Eons of Energy
Move in day is going to be tiring. Do your best to get a good night’s rest before and eat a protein-packed breakfast. You will be getting your workout in moving in items, running to Target a million times to get this or that, and installing shelves, lofting beds and helping to get sheets on a sky-high bunk bed against the wall- no easy feat! Make sure to carry a water bottle and snacks in your purse. A granola bar could make all the difference and avoid the drama that comes with a hangry teen.
Reams of Reassurance
Your child who has known how to do their laundry and take Tylenol for a headache for a while now, may suddenly feel insecure about all of these tasks. If they need it, take time to review how the washer works, or how many Advil is the correct dosage. It doesn’t mean you haven’t done your job in raising them, it simply means that they need a bit of reassurance as they step into this next phase. Also, be prepared for the calls in the weeks to come with random questions like “what does a rolling boil mean” or will they get arrested for accidentally setting off the fire alarm.
Spoonful of Spontaneity
Be ready for anything! No matter how much you have planned and plotted out this day, it will inevitably require you to adapt and make a decision on the fly. Be open to change and spontaneity. Don’t get stuck on the picture you had in your head. The ability to go with the flow is perhaps the most important tool in your tool belt for move in day.
A Cup of Courage
The hardest part of the day is the last hug and the walk away. You may think that your kid will be ready to boot you out the door but be ready for the possibility that they will feel sadness in that moment along with you. It’s a milestone moment and they are not immune to the weight of it. For my daughter it was a moment of sadness, and she didn’t want me to go. It felt like kindergarten all over again when I had to gently push her over the threshold and hold my tears until she was safely inside. I knew she would be fine after I walked away, but standing in the moment, it took courage to say goodbye.
This August when I drop off my son, I expect the scene will work itself out differently. I know he will also be a bit sad in that moment, but as he did in Kindergarten, he will give me a quick hug and jump with all his might into the next phase. I drove home crying after dropping off my daughter. I’m sure this drop off will be no different. Bring your cup of courage and be prepared to walk away knowing it is a good thing.
Savor Every Moment!
Be present for every moment of move-in day. Make their bed and help them organize their clothes if they will let you. Leave feeling that they are settled and ready to make this next big leap in life. My number one piece of advice though? Bring big sunglasses. I needed them as the tears sprung from my eyes as I walked away. So incredibly proud, but already missing my once little love, now young adult ready to make their mark in the world.
