Decluttering Tips: Be Empowered to Declutter

Do you want to feel empowered to declutter your home?

I used to always wonder what other people’s homes look like. Are they also swimming in clutter, to the point where it’s hopeless to even consider decluttering? Or do they hide their clutter and still fret over it when no one is looking? Does anyone actually live a decluttered life or is that just for social media boasting?

These questions flooded my personal journals during times of overwhelm, self-doubt, and lack of direction.

Homeschool Clutter

I homeschooled my kids for five years before sending them off to full time school. Having no proper teaching experience and lots of pressure to adequately ‘educate’ my kids, I started to buy stuff. Lots of stuff. Everything from multiple versions of 5-subject workbooks, used textbooks, math manipulatives, poster boards, arts/crafts supplies, Legos, a kitchen scale, educational board games, to science kits, and various online educational subscriptions.

The more I bought at first, the more insecure I felt as a teacher. But that’s all I could do to compensate for what I thought were my shortcomings.

Homeschooling two young children at different grade levels and different educational needs can be quite unforgiving. When I was desperate for yet another idea to keep them engaged or learning, I would hurriedly find a new book or educational toy and hope to get their attention.

Throughout these early years, I did not notice the piles and bins of stuff that I was accumulating in our modest home. I was focused on having exceptional learning samples for our supervising teachers each month; it didn’t matter that they came at the cost of money and space.

The Struggle

I also didn’t notice that I was instilling a materialistic value in my children. Their young minds were like sponges, absorbing not only my hastily-prepared lesson plans, but also the expectation of stuff everywhere! We had tiered rolling carts full of supplies. Our personal bookshelves only carried educational school books. The ottoman was filled with board games we hardly ever played with. The closets were bursting with school-supplies and completed assignments that I couldn’t part with.

Even the garage was stacked with school supplies and over 50 boxes that I had brought over from my self-storage unit. Boxes that contained my past, my parents’ past, and even my brother’s past. Boxes that we had not opened in years but were adamant about moving from one location to another!

I had set aside my professional career to care for our home and to homeschool the children, yet I felt overwhelmed and unqualified to do either. All our excessive stuff made it impossible to properly clean the home, and the children preferred to play on their devices instead of doing science experiments with me.

Thankfully, throughout all of this, my husband didn’t lose his mind! He would gently nudge me to consider getting rid of stuff, but quickly stopped when I resisted.

It probably goes without saying that there was a lot more to my clutter-problem than just meeting educational expectations. I was self-conscious and doubted myself. I had to make up for it by having ‘something’ to show for what we did all day at home. That something turned into many things.

But guess what?  If you had visited us during those early homeschool years, you may not have noticed my struggles, or even thought much of our ‘clutter’. After all, I had mastered the art of making our home presentable enough for visitors. And instead of complaining to other mom-friends, I would share my discoveries of new books and effective teaching tools.

That’s how I coped with our clutter, but that’s also how I dug myself deeper into the problem.

When we don’t acknowledge the source of our frustrations, we cannot desire meaningful change.

One day, when my mom was visiting us from overseas, she insisted on getting rid of her and my brother’s boxes from our garage. Together, we turned it into a project and spent over two weeks going through the contents, reminiscing, and donating. It was painstaking, but also liberating. Since I was helping her with the task, I didn’t quite feel the pressure of parting with the items but did experience the dopamine rush each time we collapsed a box.

And that was the trigger I needed to address my own mindset about clutter! Those tiny rewards  translated into pleasure. And my garage was looking better!

The Roadmap to Successfully Declutter

Clutter is a unique struggle because it affects us mentally, physically, and emotionally. It usually represents underlying psychological struggles that we don’t want to deal with. Our physical space is affected, which then affects our perception of our self-worth, and emotionally drains us.

There are two very different stages to addressing clutter.

First, you do a deep mindset examination of the issue, without lifting a finger.

Second, you get to work and fill those trash and donation bags.

Thankfully, the internet is swamped with “Top 5 Decluttering Tips” and such to help you with the second stage. Suggestions for the second stage include:

1. Start Small: Rather than trying to tackle the entire house at once, start with one small area, such as a closet or drawer. Make the task feel more manageable and build momentum. Let the dopamine flow!
2. Set a Timer: Set the time for specific amounts of time and focus on decluttering during that time. Even five minutes will yield positive results, and will begin to establish a new healthy habit.
3. Use the “one in, one out” Rule: When bringing new items into your home, make sure to get rid of an old item.
4. Be Ruthless: When going through your things, ask yourself if you truly need or use each item. If not, get rid of it.
5. Get Your Family Involved: Encourage your kids and partner to help. This can make the task more manageable. Just be sure not to overwhelm the kids. You can put a smaller empty laundry basket in front of their doors, and ask them to spend ten minutes on a timer, putting toys and items they don’t need into the basket. Explain that

Address Your Mindset First

It’s the first stage that many people skip over, or don’t realize, that leads to an undesirable outcome. It’s crucial to do the first step of adjusting your Mindset BEFORE you lift that finger and follow the tips.

Once I addressed my mindset, not only did it translate to a major declutter overhaul of my home, but it also led to a better homeschooling experience and ongoing monthly declutter projects.

So how do we tackle our mindset about clutter? Grab a journal and answer the following prompts truthfully and without self-judgment:

1. What is my frustration related to clutter?

Explore any images, sounds, and textures that you might associate with the frustration of clutter. Sit with these descriptions and make space for them in your mind. The more you write here, the more frustration you will release. This step will also help you make peace with the clutter before you tackle it.

2. What are my reasons behind wanting change?

How is the clutter affecting your life, family, emotions, etc?

Remember, in order to want to do something, you must first know why.

3. What is my understanding of my identity, of who I am right now.

How are you different from how you were in the past? And who would you like to be in the future?

Does your understanding of your identity help or hinder your progress toward addressing this frustration?

4. What are my current beliefs about the clutter?

What has been stopping you from doing something about it?

Are these your beliefs or someone else’s?

Are there thoughts/images of someone else coming up when you tune into your frustration?

5. Am I capable of handle this stuckness?

Do you have sufficient resources to explore your next steps and take small steps toward taking action?

Have you tested your capabilities? Are you making assumptions?

6. How am I acting that is causing this sense of frustration about the clutter?

Are you acting according to your beliefs, capabilities, and identity?

How have your actions affected you and your goals?

7. Where (in what space or environment) does my frustration about clutter come up?

When does it come up?

Are you comparing yourself to others?

Ok, that was a lot. But hopefully when you do it, you take your time and really digest your responses, because… there’s one last part to it!

The Resolution

After you thoroughly explore the self-assessment, it’s time to imagine what your life would be like once you’ve already achieved your goal of decluttering. This part is lots of fun and can bring about lots of joy and encouragement.

Answer the following questions in your journal again, but this time about future you, the one who has achieved the goal of decluttering:

1. What does my life look like without any clutter?

What are some images, sounds, and textures that come to mind?

What does my kitchen look like? The bedrooms? Common areas? Can I feel the smoothness of countertops and closet drawers, as I run my hand across them?

2. Who would I be without any physical clutter in my life?

Would it affect the clutter in my mind? Would I be closer to having more clarity?

3. What would I have to believe to have a decluttered home?

Why do I want to be who I am?

4. How can I be the best version of who I am?

What resources would I have as a person who keeps the clutter at bay?

5.  How can I put my abilities to the greatest use, so I can be the best version of who I am?

6. When and where can I be the best version of myself?

In what place/time would I feel great about my accomplishment?

Empowered to Declutter?

There you have it. Let me clarify that the above prompts and questions are sourced from my Life Coach training, and as you can imagine, they can be applied to any “stuckness” in life.

There is almost always a deeply rooted reason behind the clutter that we face. And if we are to address the clutter, the stuff, the overwhelm, we have to do it from the inside out.

So again, before you empty that first drawer or tackle the garage, it really helps to understand yourself, the roots of the issue, and how the successful outcome would be like.  Only then, will you have more grace for yourself and will feel empowered to declutter on your terms and according to your comfort.

My personal decluttering journey has been one of my key epiphanies in life. It led to lots of soul-searching, setting boundaries, communicating expectations, and revisiting my values.

It also led to me deciding to no longer homeschool my kids and to relaunch my career as an estate planning and bankruptcy lawyer.

Now I’m able to confidently represent my clients because I’m able to keep my personal and emotional clutter at bay, and I maintain an organized and automated law practice. If I didn’t have the former epiphany, I would not have enjoyed the latter success in my career.