Last night while out with friends, I met new people. Meeting people can be tough at times more so when the question of “What do you do for a living?” comes along through conversation.

Each person shows curiosity on how others live. As everyone in the table went around sharing about their degrees, careers, aspirations and work-related goals, I searched for answers in my head. You see, for the past 7 years I have been a stay-at-home mom. I’ve had my hands full. I wear many hats daily and feel as if I have different professions throughout the day.

Many Hats, Many Jobs

One minute I am an event planner; crafting the best party décor and creating invites to a toddler birthday. The next minute I am a housekeeper, tidying up and cleaning the house as if I was getting paid big bucks to keep it spotless. Later on, I turn into a chauffeur, driving our tiny humans around to school, a play date, sports practice and more different destinations. I am a medical coordinator, scheduling appointments and checking medical records. Bring me an apple because I am a teacher as well. A nurse, helping our sick kiddos, giving medication and tending to their needs. Add Chef to the list of jobs; meal prepping, school lunch making, snack connoisseur…

All these thoughts popped in my head and as my turn to answer came around, I nervously said: “I am a stay-at-home mom”. I looked around the room waiting to hear crickets when suddenly one of the women sitting across from me breaks the silence and says loudly “Dream job!” The rest of the group agreed and all continued to praise me, saying how wonderful it might be to be able to see our children grow up and be there for them.

However, as the conversation went on the women also acknowledged how tough and lonely it must be and, in that moment, I felt SEEN. I had never met them before, some of them single, some newly married and yet …they recognized what being a stay-at-home mother meant. It is a privilege for many families to have a parent stay home with the kids, more so in today’s society. It is beautiful and chaotic at the same time. It is joyful and lonely. It brings on nurturing, peace, overwhelming emotions, sadness, balance and dedication.

RELATED TOPIC: Stay-at- Home Mom: Delusional but Delighted


The conversation kept going and at this point I was the topic of discussion. They asked for
advice and wanted what real motherhood was all about. You know, the one outside the
perfectly curated Instagram posts. One of the newly wed women asked about timing and having children and wondered about the cons. It was a real and heartfelt conversation with strangers that added on to the intense gratefulness I hold on to everyday for being able to spend my days with our children despite how hard it is at times.

Being noticed by people who did not know me but applauded the lifestyle I chose to have. Wow! What a feeling! I have never met people who were not mothers who showed genuine care. Most of the people I know are parents and even then, it seems like everyone passively competes to see who has all their ducks in a row. But this time it was so different. Sometimes parents just need a simple “You are doing great”. And that is exactly what I got from people who did not even know my kids.


The chat made me think about perspective and how as humans we are flawed to think and wish for something better. Always looking at someone else’s grass instead of watering our own. When I thought that my life as a stay-at-home mother was lacking due to the career aspect of it all, there were people out there who were wishing for my lifestyle. Women who wanted to be stay at home moms and wanted to create a home with messy floors, laughter in the hallways, weekend sports and more. It served as a great reminder to step back and regain perspective on my own life and the season I am in.

RELATED TOPIC: The Grass IS Greener; So Borrow Some Fertilizer

VCMC WRITER: Daniella Horne

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Cascia Smith
Cascia was born and raised in the Arizona heat. While receiving her Pre-Med degree at HIU in California, a blonde, surfing, skateboarding boy stole her heart. In 2004, she married Chuck and had many adventures living in Arizona, California and Colorado. They now call Simi Valley home and have three wild and curious children - Becker (10), Bodie (7) and Lyla (6). She has been blessed to be a teacher, summer camp staff/program director, SAHM and now the owner of Ventura County Mom Collective. Playing guitar, writing songs, and reading any and every parenting book helps keep her sane and happy! A good cup of coffee or a bubbly La Croix can usually be found in her hand! She tries to live by the motto "I'd rather recover from failure than live with regret.


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