I’m Not A Fun Mom
Admittedly I am not naturally a “fun mom.” I suffer from an overly imaginative spirit tempered by an underwhelming desire to crawl around on my hands and knees as a raging dinosaur or a cuddly kitty cat. While I appreciate how important creative play is, I’ve never been good at playing make believe. Oddly ironic, I know, since I love to read and write stories.
In fact, story time was perhaps the one activity I engaged in the most with my kids when they were younger. Give me a pile of books and I’m happy to spend the day snuggled up in a chair, reading aloud and sipping coffee. Two out of my three kids are avid readers now. My middle, however, has no shared affinity for it.
RELATED TOPIC: How Books Save My Parenting Life
Relating With Our Kids Is Sometimes Hard
To be honest, the relationship between my middle born and myself has not always been an easy one. To say that we have differing personalities is an understatement. I tend to see rainbows when he sees clouds. I see the glass half full while he sees it half empty. I say things like “It’s such a beautiful day!” He frowns and counters with, “It’s probably going to rain and I hate rain.”
These differences in our personalities have felt straining and it’s often been difficult for us to understand and connect with one another on a heart to heart level. As he’s gotten older I’ve felt increasing pressure to think outside the box and find ways of reminding us both we’re on the same team.
Then a few years ago my husband and I made the decision to purchase a Nintendo Switch as our kids’ Christmas present. I was hesitant at first because like many parents, I worried about things like: too much screen time, the constant pressure of purchasing the newest and most popular games, and mom-guilt that instead of staring at another screen they should be forced to do something that would not rot their brains. Honestly, I still worry about those things.
Video Games Gave Us Connection
But amidst all my anxiety and mixed feelings, something interesting and unexpected occurred. I found that sitting down with my son and playing games like Mario Kart and Super Smash Bros, allowed us to form a surprising bond. Between his total domination of red, green, and blue shells and my incessant questions on which buttons did what, we began to connect on a deeper, more relaxed level than we had ever experienced before. To be sure, I had no idea what I was doing and I still don’t. However, it was through the shared experience of playing video games that I became a little bit more fun and we both learned to enjoy something together.
As a parent I’m still concerned my kids have too much screen time. I still feel the pressure to buy the newest video games that my kids plead with me about each birthday and holiday. I’d still much rather they read a book, play outside or spend their time doing something educational. (Boring mom is still hoping her kids will wake up and realize how awesome she is). But I also recognize the importance of participating in the things my kids enjoy, even if I don’t totally understand it.
Fun Coexists With Willingness
If you’re like me, being a “fun” mom often feels like an atrophied muscle. Perhaps though, more important than being “fun” is a parent who is willing—willing to do what is uncomfortable, unnatural even. Willing to try. Willing to lose exceptionally well at Mario Kart over and over again for the hope of shared connectedness with a son.
Cheers to fun and boring moms alike who put in the hard work over and over again to love their kids well and enjoy something together. And cheers to those darn blue shells too because that one time I totally blasted my son’s motorcycle and then pulled out in front of him to win the race—well, he was real impressed with me for a hot minute and I call that a serious win.
