What A Good Morning Makes

I can be an embarrassment in the drop-off line apparently.

Sometimes I have the audacity to pick up a work call on bluetooth while waiting for the slow SUVs and school buses to cycle through the drop-off point.  My son scowls as I greet my colleague, annoyingly chipper on purpose, “It’s a great day at Cheetah!”

Other times, he pointedly turns down my music when we turn into the bus circle.

But he never fails to answer, “Love you too, Mom,” before he gets out of the car, perhaps largely because he knows that if he doesn’t reply in kind, I’ll surely roll down the window and yell loudly out the window, forcing him to reply from as far away as he had escaped from the car door, like the scene from SpiderMan: Into the Spiderverse. “You gotta say I love you back.  I want to hear it!”  So, he accepts my wish for him to have a great day at school, tells me he loves me too, and takes off.

A Sweet Morning Send Off

After such a sweet goodbye every morning, I feel good sending him off to school, but recently I watched him trudge away, middle-school boy style: flat brimmed hat pulled down, shoulders hunched under his backpack, basketball under his arm and realized there was more to this start to a great day.  I watched him continue on past the school’s principal who stood out front, greeting the school busses and chatting with whatever other teachers were on duty, and even though I could only see his back, I could envision his face as he passed by, sullen and impassive, focused on finding his friends and getting to class.

The next day, we approached the crosswalk and said our goodbyes, and I added one thing.

“Hey bud, you know it’s very important that when you pass by Ms. Stone that you tell her good morning and greet her nicely for the day. Do you ever do that?”

“What? No.” he said, unsurprisingly.

“Okay, well, when you walk by, I want you to make sure you say, ‘Good morning, Ms. Stone’ and make sure she has a good start to her day and she sees you have respect for her. You should always greet the teachers and acknowledge them nicely when you pass them. And look at them, when you say it.”

“Okay, Mom,” he agreed.

What’s In a Good Morning

And so that morning, I lingered, slowing down the whole line, to watch him as he passed the principal.  Again, I couldn’t see his face as he passed by, but I knew he had followed my directions, because I could see hers.

As he passed, and presumably, obediently, said (perhaps even just mumbled), “Good Morning, Ms. Stone” just barely glancing up to meet her eyes, her whole face lit up and her whole body lifted in surprise and delight.  I could see her say, “Well good morning!” in shocked response as he continued toward the classrooms.

I continued to remind him from time to time as the days and weeks went on, and he affably made it a continued practice to greet her and the other teachers that were often gathered at the entrance. I couldn’t always see their exchange as I moved toward the school exit, but recently, I lingered long enough to catch one.

Making a Connection

Warmer weather meant I had the window down, and I was in the right-most lane.  I could hear her say, “Lukona, did you watch the game? The Lakers won again!” and they continued to talk a bit about the game.  Later, I asked about it, and he told me she had recommended a movie about Michael Jordan for him to watch too.

He had moved from hurrying by her, eyes averted, to greeting her, enabling her to continue to further their connection a little.  Like any good principal would, she worked on adding to their conversation with an easy subject she knows he likes: basketball.  And with that, they could speak a little more, ease his awkwardness talking to an adult, a person of authority, and everyone could have a better morning.

Seeing her appreciative smile and his waning reticence made me proud.  Middle school is painful at times, for the kids, the educators and the administrators.  But to see a tiny spark of a connection begin to build between a twelve-year-old boy and a leading educator, made for a good morning for all three of us.  Saying “Good Morning,” makes a better morning for us all.