Over the years, there’s been times when the sun was my friend and times when we feuded. It wasn’t until the past couple of years that I realized just how much I was impacted by this beautiful huge star in our solar system. Everything from my mood to my energy levels to my sleep, my mental health and my motivation are all strongly influenced by the sun.
Sunscreen-Free Summers
As a kid growing up in St. Louis MO, my sisters and I would play outside all summer long with the goal to get as much sun as we could. We NEVER wore sunscreen as kids. I just don’t think it was on our parent’s radar.. And even if they tried to enforce sunscreen, we probably would’ve resisted. We loved our suntan lines and bronzed skin. We knew it would only last for a few short months out of the year and before we knew it, the gray, gloomy, cold winters would hide our precious sun for way too long.
Slathered in Baby Oil
As teenagers, we grew up in a time when being tan was cool. Not only was it a sign of summer, but it also made us look and feel good. My skin was always fairly light, and I have a face full of freckles, so I’d typically burn before it would turn into a tan, but back then, that was the goal. My sisters and I would slather on baby oil, slip into our bikinis, and literally fry ourselves on our parent’s deck in the backyard for hours listening to 80s music and misting each other with spray bottles to keep cool. The tanner we got, the better! There was no thought or worry about how the sun might be impacting my skin health. I just wanted to have a good tan! We’d compare tan lines at the end of our “laying out” session to see who was the darkest. Ignorance was bliss!
Tanning Bed Trend
Then, there was the tanning bed trend. My very first job when I was 15 was working at a tanning salon. My sister worked there before me, so she showed me the ropes. I had already been tanning in tanning beds for years because my sister would always let me come when she was working, even though I was technically too young.
One of the perks of working at a tanning salon was that I got free unlimited tans. I would sometimes tan 3-4 times in one week!! I look back at pictures of me in high school, and I literally looked like an Oompa Loompa from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory in some of my school dance photos. Clearly this was not my natural skin color. I was waaaay too tan. NOT cute! But it was addicting. So many of my friends were also tanning. It was just widely accepted and also expected within the circles of friends I belonged to at that period in my life. I can still remember the smell of burnt, sweaty skin like it was yesterday. Wearing nothing but my birthday suit, and a sticker so I could see how tan I got after peeling it off. I didn’t even wear the protective eye goggles half the time because I didn’t want any lines around my eyes. I’d have to blink a few times to focus after stepping out from under the bright lights after roasting for 30 minutes. If only I could take back the hours, days, weeks, etc. that I spent cooking my skin under those dangerous UV lamps.
Winter Blues
I worshiped the sun throughout my childhood, teens, and 20s. Once I moved to sunny southern CA in my mid-20s, I realized how much the sun impacted my health and wellness and how much I really appreciated and NEEDED the sun. I never put together why I felt so much worse in the winter until I moved to CA, where I had consistent sunshine year around. I realized that it was the lack of sun growing up in St. Louis that had been impacting my health and wellness from as early as I could remember as a child. In the winter as a kid, between sports, I’d come home after school and just lay and watch reruns of Full House. Oftentimes, I’d doze off. No energy or motivation to do anything else. Those gray sunless days left me feeling zapped, blah, and kinda depressed.
Seasonal Insomnia
It wasn’t just my mood and energy that were impacted… I also had trouble sleeping. It was probably a combination of my undiagnosed anxiety as a child, but also in hindsight, the weather – the lack of consistent sunshine. I would lay awake sometimes for hours at night, thoughts racing, feeling tired but wired, and just trying so hard to fall asleep. I’d wake up to another gray day feeling groggy, still tired, and pretty much just wanted to hibernate through the midwest winters. I know now that this was probably Seasonal Affective Disorder, and that the lack of sunlight exposure was negatively impacting my circadian rhythm (body’s internal clock) as well as the hormones that impact sleep, mood, energy, etc.
Wrinkles, sun spots, melasma…oh my!!
As I inched closer to my 30s, my husband and I moved to Phoenix AZ for a few years. If I thought the sun was strong in CA, it was no match for deserts of AZ! I actually loved the dry heat. And, it was literally sunny 363 days per year! BUT, I quickly started noticing the leathered, wrinkled, and aged skin of the women who had clearly been in the sun here their whole lives. This is when I decided to start wearing sunscreen on my face and chest daily. I didn’t want to age prematurely! I’d also make a conscious effort to apply sunscreen when swimming or laying by the pool. I still wanted a tan, but not at the expense of losing the appearance of my youth. Of course, risks of skin cancer was a slight concern as well.
Sensitivity & Autoimmune
With time, I started noticing how sensitive my skin was becoming to the sun. I’d be outside in the sunlight for only 5-10 minutes, and my skin would turn bright red. Not from a sunburn, but from photosensitivity and inflammation due to my autoimmune conditions that had not yet been diagnosed. During this season in my life, too much sun would literally drain me and just make me feel unwell.
I also noticed that my eyes also became very sensitive to the sun. It was increasingly hard to see even with sunglasses on. My eyes would water profusely because when I was outside on a sunny day, it often felt like I was looking directly into the sun. Its brightness was piercing to my super sensitive eyes. I would get anxiety being at the park alone with my young son, because there were times where I felt like I couldn’t see him because the son felt blinding and overwhelming.
OCD About Sunscreen
I became a bit afraid of the sun and what I perceived it to be doing to my body. The sun was not actually the enemy. My overactive immune system’s response to the sun’s ultraviolet rays was causing me to want to avoid my once beloved sunshine. So anytime I would be out in the sun for more than a few minutes, I would load up on the sunscreen. I became slightly obsessed with applying the sunscreen very evenly. I didn’t want to miss a spot. I apply the sunscreen completely naked before going out in the sun. And I would avoid going into water if possible because I didn’t want it to be less effective. I was nervous that the sun just didn’t agree with me anymore.
The Sun is Healing
Eventually, I’ve learned to balance my immune system and nervous system and to love and respect the sun again. I also allow the sun to love me back.
The sun is arguably the most important source of energy. Sunlight boosts mood, improves sleep, increases energy, provides Vitamin D, reduces stress, strengthens immunity, improves mental health, heals certain skin conditions, decreases inflammation, and SO much more. Sunshine is free, it’s beautiful, and I’m grateful for it each and every sunny day.
I appreciate all of the benefits our glorious sun has to offer, and I am now able to enjoy the sunshine in moderation.
