I wear a ring on my left index finger with the words “I am enough.” I wear it because I tend to forget. Voices in my head whisper words that speak to my insecurities, muffle my higher mind, and blur my reality.
The voices have been there as long as I can remember. I imagine that they began as the voice of an adult criticizing my younger self or a peer passing judgment in an unkind way. It’s interesting how it doesn’t take much for us to accept insults or meanness.
Instead of combating those thoughts, I held onto them as truth and the bright light that I was born as shone with less intensity. I didn’t question the thoughts because it was much easier to agree and become an accomplice in the diminishing of my illumination.
RELATED TOPIC: Spring Cleaning Your Thoughts
Day after day the same tunes would play in my mind. There was the “You’re Not Smart Enough” song and “You Talk Too Much.” I especially liked listening to “You’re So Fat” and “You’re A Failure.”
It wasn’t until I was introduced to positive affirmations that I realized that I was even tuned into this awful station. The songs were ever playing between my ears like white noise, so soothing and commonplace. When I disrupted the negative lyrics with an unfamiliar melody of affirmations we’ll call, “Truth”, I had a difficulty with the sound.
“I am enough. I am worthy. I am thankful for my body…” A lump in my throat would build up and I would turn my head to one side in shame because the words were so hard to utter let alone believe.
I spent nearly my entire life feeling less than everyone else. In my mind, I wasn’t enough on my own, so I had to perform in order to receive praise or the tiniest morsel of love. But that is a topic for another time.
What I’d really like to share is how I got a grasp on my negative thinking. This topic is so important to me as I’ve worked with countless women who battle poor body image and/or poor self-esteem.
Unwanted thoughts and fears keep us from standing in our greatness.
Fear Causes Us To Freeze
I’ve seen this occur many times in weight loss. A client will have much success, reach a certain weight and then become stagnant or plateau. The interesting thing is that , I believe it has little to do with what she’s eating or how much she’s exercising and EVERYTHING to do with her ability to conquer the voices in her head.
Can she be brave enough to release her old thoughts and beliefs about herself in order to be made new? Or will the familiar record of negative thoughts telling her to remain the same continue to play?
When a person is undergoing a transformation such as losing a significant amount of weight, a shift in identity must occur. The mind/ego does not like it one bit. It wants us to stick with the regular programming because it feels safe.
How To Stop It.
The first step is to recognize that the negative talk is even happening. Do you hear yourself when you’re putting yourself down?
I’ve noticed that my body bashing banter usually occurs first thing in the morning when I glance at the bathroom mirror. I’ll give my belly a pat, squish my fupa and reposition my mom pouch to give the appearance of a flat tummy. It makes the profile look more in line with society’s standard of beauty…whatever that is at the moment. I’ll stroke my stretch marks and start to think ugly thoughts.
But not for long! Ladies, we’ve got to disrupt those thoughts with the truth!
The truth is that our bodies are continuously renewing and evolving. They are never the same from one day to the next. So each day that we glance in the mirror we are witnessing a masterpiece anew. Your body is perfectly yours today and always. It is beautiful and uniquely yours.
The next step is to release it. So you don’t look like a twenty something year old fitness model on social media? Give that up! So you don’t fit into the jeans you wore in high school? Give that up too!
Don’t get angry with yourself for having the body that serves you now. Don’t get angry with yourself for thinking unkind thoughts about your body either. If you’re comfortable, give those thoughts to the higher power of your understanding and let them float far from your head.
Realize that you are more than your thoughts or the sack of skin and bones that surround the essence/soul/innermost part of you. When a negative tune plays in your head, get curious about it. Consider where it may have come from.
Perhaps it’s from the criticism of an adult or a bully that you experienced as a child. Perhaps it’s the product of an unrealistic expectation you set for yourself because you were comparing yourself to someone else. Whatever the case may be, please stop that song and play yourself a new one.
You know the way you sing your favorite jam in the car or in the shower with the music blasting and no care in the world? That’s the level that we’re aiming for. The most honest expression of who we are even if our voices crack and we sound like a laboring whale.
This is your song. Write yourself the kind of lyrics that you would choose for your daughter because she hears your anthem too.
Get in tune with your thoughts, sweet friend. You’re worth it!