Way back in 2004, my new husband and I proudly purchased our first piece of furniture together. It wasn’t much but we saved and were able to purchase a brand new couch from Ikea. It was a small, tan couch that at best sat three adults comfortably. It was the only piece of furniture we had in our living room. Oh but we loved that little couch.
Love and an Ikea Couch
In the evenings, after dinner, my husband and I would wedge ourselves onto that couch to watch whatever tv program was on at that time (we could not afford cable). Most nights were filled with Antique RoadShow and the news.
The couch was so little that we had to take the back cushions off if we wanted to lay down on it together. We would throw the back cushions on the floor, squish next to each other, arms and legs entangled and be so happy!
We were a newly wed couple in love on a little couch. I know it was uncomfortable to twist ourselves onto that little couch but we did it because we wanted to be so close to each other and we didn’t know it any other way.
We lived and loved on that little couch for the first 5 years of our marriage.
Goodbye Little Couch
Several years later, with different jobs and different budgets, we sold that couch to a college student and purchased a new couch AND love set. Atlast, more couch and more room! Most nights we would still squish and twist onto one couch, happy to be close together but as time passed we found new happiness of being comfortable spread out on individual couches.
And at some point we started to value comfort over closeness. The new norm was to spend our time on separate couches.
Still in the same room.
Still enjoying the same show together.
But somehow not quite as close.
Lessons of a Little Couch
I miss that little couch. And if I am honest, I think that couch represents so much in marriage. When we are first in love, we would give anything to be close. To touch. To be near each other.
Slowly we forget what a gift marriage and love is. We slowly start to move away. Not in big ways, just a little by moving to a new couch. Still close but not the same. And then we move further apart. And we forget the safety and joy of closeness. And one day we find we have moved far, far away.
It is just little decisions and choices along the way that lead to a gap. A gap in closeness. A gap in the bond. A gap in the most important relationship.
Before we know it, we are not just on separate couches, we are living separate lives.
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Little Couch Moments
Ok, so I am not saying I am throwing out our couches and running to Ikea to purchase a little couch right now. No, I enjoy our new comfortable couches. But I am going to look for “little couch” moments; moments to be close to my husband.
I am going to hold his hand as we aimlessly wander through a store.
I will look him in the eye and tell him how much I love him.
I will bury my face into his neck in the morning and kiss him hello.
I will send him a romantic text message.
I will play footsie under the table.
And maybe some nights, I will snuggle right up against him on ONE couch and reminisce about those first few sweet years of marriage. Where I would endure anything just to be near him.
