Does life as a mom ever get so busy that you forget the importance of connecting with your kids? Or maybe it’s not even that busy but you’re so focused on your own life that you forget to check in with them? That’s recently been the case with me, and I’ve felt this tug in my heart that I need to be doing better.
Lunch Date With My Son
My husband had made plans to celebrate a friend’s birthday with a group of guys on a Sunday. I took my son to church by myself. My son wasn’t in the mood to go to Costco afterwards that morning. Normally we shop for needed items and take advantage of their cheap pizza and hot dogs in their food court.
I was ready to head home and make a simple lunch later, but my son asked if we could go out to eat. Because the prices at restaurants (even fast food places!) have been so expensive these days, I would usually say no. But I had recently saved a coupon to Presto Pasta in the mail and figured why not.
Gratitude For Connecting With My Son
During that impromptu mother-son lunch date, I found out his true feelings about something. I don’t want to share the intimate details of our conversation, but I was shocked that he didn’t tell me this before (how long has he been feeling this way?) and also realized that I need to make more of an effort to have one-on-one time with him.
When my son was younger, I had more opportunities to connect with him. Boys, I learned, feel more comfortable opening up to you once they’re ready. My son would never tell me much when I asked him how school was when picking him up from school. But when we would be doing an activity together, he would randomly start sharing things with me.
Now that he’s a little older, he’s more interested in playing with neighborhood friends after school than spending time with me. Or maybe he wouldn’t mind spending time with me, but I’m not really interested in the things he enjoys doing (building Legos, drawing things, anything Minecraft). He’s also been going to bed later, and we haven’t been as good about sharing a bedtime story together (another time when he tends to be more open to talking).
I felt so appreciative of our mother-son lunch date. I got to understand my son a little bit more. If I don’t know how he is feeling or what he is thinking, how am I, as a parent, going to support his needs?
What about you? Do you consciously make an effort to truly know your kid(s) on a personal level? If not, I encourage you to do so. Summer is usually a time of play and rest, the perfect time to spend some quality time with your child(ren).
Guest Writer: Miriam Cave
