“Oh, my gosh! You’ve lost so much weight. How did you do it?”
One after another, the ladies in your circle carry on about how good Jen looks.
Reaction
This is where I brace myself. Before becoming a Health Coach, I’d be just as intrigued to know exactly what Jen did to attain such rapid weight loss.
But nowadays, I say a silent prayer that she didn’t fall for a fad diet that she’s about to convince the rest of the crew to try.
Which diet was it? Did it involve ungodly amounts of apple cider vinegar, diarrhea tea, cutting out entire food groups, or special shakes with the nutritional value equivalent to a glass of chocolate milk and a gummy vitamin? Did she skip breakfast, cut carbs or complete extreme workouts?
Been There
I’m not passing judgment. I’ve fallen for all of the crazy diets. As an overweight child, I was placed on diets several times and eventually began to put myself on diets at age 10.
I intermittently fasted before I.F. was a thing, ate cabbage soup, cut out fat, ate sugar-free, counted points, swallowed magic pills, etc. You name it, I tried it. I even sweated to the oldies with Richard Simmons! – That was a hoot.
It wasn’t until my mid-thirties that I finally figured things out. My grand epiphany was that diets are dumb and I needed to do something else instead. But what would actually work?
The fact is that I love pizza, pasta and pastries. Unless you’re a flesh eating zombie, then you probably do too. And we don’t want to give up on these culinary miracles for life do we? Nope.
Solution
Here’s what I did instead:
- I made an agreement with myself. I decided that losing weight was non-negotiable. I was going to do whatever necessary in order to look and feel healthy in my skin. The agreement was literal. I wrote it out and signed my name. I had broken promises to myself far too many times and determined that this time would be different. The fear of failure was not going to stop me. Quitting would not be an option.
- I committed to becoming a better friend to myself. Instead of beating myself up every time I fell off the wagon, I told myself that I would try again the next meal (not the next day or Monday). I became my own cheerleader providing the same kind of messaging that I would impart to the people whom I care about.
- I ate real food and I ate to feel well. I learned to become my own “diet detective” to figure out which foods helped me stay full, satiated, and gave me more energy. As it turns out, sticking to protein, produce and avoiding processed foods actually works (gasp).
- I said “yes” and ate less. Instead of restricting and being on a forever diet, I said “yes” to foods that make my foodie heart skip a beat in smaller portions. I ate them less frequently, too. Most people are less likely to binge or overeat when they incorporate foods they enjoy into their nutrition.
- I stopped treating the symptom of my overweight state of being. The true cause of my heaviness had nothing to do with food and everything to do with how I felt deep in my heart. What I was truly hungry for was not one of the blessed P’s (pizza, pasta, and pastries). I hungered for safety, appreciation, and to feel seen. This meant that I had to let go of the baggage literally weighing me down, which was a huge deal for an emotional eater like me.
I could share more details, strategies, mind shifts and habits that I changed, however, I believe that these five were key.
Honor Your Body
The next time you see a friend who’s lost a good amount of weight following a certain diet, instead of asking her the “rules” of the diet or how fast she dropped the pounds, ask her what she learned about herself while following it. Ask her if she thinks she can continue eating that way long term. Ask her how she truly feels in her new body.
I hope that I’ve helped you gain some perspective today and maybe spared you from following another fad diet. You may not agree, but I think that diets as in the restrictive eating that diet culture encourages are dumb.
My greatest desire for all women is that they can honor their bodies with the same nurturing love that they share with others around them. When we stop fussing about our weight, shape and size, we can give our attention to matters that can make our world a better place.
Diets are dumb. You are wise.
