I’m the New “Kid” With No Friends

My family moved to Ventura County on a hot, blistering summer day in July.  Normally, just another Wednesday in July but it happened to be that we moved right at the height of the pandemic.  When we arrived at our new home, things were completely shut down.  Nowhere to go. Not much to do. And no new friends to be made.

A Hard Move

The move was definitely that hardest on our oldest.  Our 10 year old son was just old enough to feel the sting and sorrow of saying goodbye to good friends.  He had friends that he had grown up with and the moms of these friends loved him.  And so letting go of those friendships was heartbreaking and let’s just say he let us know when we arrived how unhappy he was about the move. To make things worse, he could not make any new friends because where do you meet people during a global pandemic?

School 

AHHH but alas, SCHOOL STARTED!  Finally a chance for us all to interact and meet new people.  Could we dare to hope to make new friends?  My son was nervous.  But I reminded him.

You are such a fun kid!

You are so kind!

You are easy to get along with!

Dude, you will make friends so easily!

And guess what…HE DID!  He has made some really terrific friends and that old heartache, still probably there a little, but it’s being filled with new relationships.

Mom Friends

So, with the start of school I also got really excited that maybe it was also my chance to make new friends!  I had the best group of moms who spent almost every afternoon after school playing on the playground.  We chatted, the kids played.  I was hopeful.  I found myself having the pep talk I gave my son.

You are a super fun mom!

You are so kind!

You get along with other moms!

Yay, you will make friends easily.

And guess what…I DIDN’T. I know, bummer!  Ok don’t lose heart for me yet. I mean I did have some casual conversations waiting to pick my kids up from school.  I know some moms by name and I have even had a few playdates.  I just haven’t had the time or the opportunity to build on those times to create solid, maturing friendships. 

So for the most part, I just feel like the awkward new kid with no friends.  Where do I stand? What do I look at? Pretend to fit in. When I show up to the school there’s no one waving me over or calling my name.  It will come with time but for now I will just have to be patient. 

See A New Mom

Maybe if you are reading this and you have been at your child’s school for awhile, you probably are able to notice when a new family comes to the school.  Can I encourage you to say hi to that new family, that new mom? Can I help you understand that the feeling of being the “new kid” is also felt by the new mom.  It does not take much to say hi, ask if they are new, or where they moved from.  You might find out you have a lot in common.  

You might just find a new friend.

And if you are the new mom, I want to encourage you to keep showing up.  Smile. Say hi. Schedule some playdates.  In time you will start to feel more comfortable and at home.  

A New School Year

As we start yet another school year with the smell of fresh pencils, reunited giggles and welcome back signs, let’s all keep a look out for those new kids and new moms.  Welcoming and making new friends is a beautiful thing to model for our children.  And you never know when you may just be the new family on the block.