Dear fellow mom….let me make this simple…if you are perfect, we can’t be friends. I have no room for a perfect mom friend in my life. I need a real, compassionate and caring friend.
Gosh, I know that sounds so harsh. I truly don’t mean it to be. I don’t mean we can’t hang in the same group or even talk and spend time together. No, I mean you do not get to hold space in my life. You do not get to add remarks or advice to my parenting. I will not come to you for advice and I will not share the good and hard of my days.
You see if you have a perfect marriage,
Then let me be the first to say we would make horrible friends!
Because let me tell you what is true in my world….
Some days I rock this thing called motherhood like SuperWoman!
And some days I barely hold on.
Neither day speaks the truth about who I am as a mother. I am a combination of both, a super mom and a mom who struggles. I am not perfect and I never want to portray that I am. And I don’t need a perfect mom friend; I just need a good, real friend.
Perfect Mom Friend
The other day I was walking through Target, ALONE…without my kids! I noticed two other moms in the make-up isles. They were obviously brand new moms (how do I know, oh you know… the overstuffed diaper bag, the abundance of blankets, toys and pacifiers kind of gave it away). One had a very young baby and the other a child around 2. As they shopped I was really taken back at how effortlessly they bounce back and forth between consoling the crying baby to constantly reminding the 2 year old to sit down in the shopping cart. They BOTH cared about each other’s child and they BOTH understood they needed help. No one rolled their eyes at the disobedient child or seemed annoyed by the crying baby. It was beautiful. A true picture of what it looks like to have a mom friend.
I don’t need another person in my life passing judgement on me as a mother; believe me I have enough judgement and guilt for myself! I don’t need another mom who gives me the stink eye when my child misbehaves.
Or a smirk when I show up with a coffee stained shirt.
Really don’t need the snarky remark about the snacks I brought to the school party.
I need a friend who gives me a hand when my child is losing his mind.
A friend who hands me a coffee they picked up for me on the way to the park.
Someone who hugs me when they see it’s been a hard day.
A mom who shares that she is overwhelmed, afraid, and uncertain about being a mom just like I am!
THE PERFECT FRIEND
Because I am the first to say, I am not perfect! There is no way I have it all together. I haven’t figured it all out. I don’t think I ever truly will. But I start every day with the best intentions, with a heart bursting with love for my kids, and a humbled heart knowing if I don’t get it right today, there is always tomorrow. I know each day I am not perfect.
And because I am not perfect, that makes me the perfect mom friend for you.